4-23-14

Welcome Home [name removed]!

I missed you! I do not know you well personally outside of you being a little girl or what has happened in your life but I can assure you that it can get better.

I cannot say it “will” get better because you have to allow it to first. You have to know that you cannot control your environment (in this case I’m speaking of your household) but only how you react to it. Therefore, you do not have to be a product of your environment. 

I can explain this in 1000 words but for you, simply put, just because you want to get better doesn’t mean that you stop doing so because the outside environment or triggering factors for your mishaps are not changing.

For example….When I was 13 or 14 I planned on committing suicide (for the umpteenth time after trying many self-injuring behaviors) because I was depressed and abused in several ways in home and outside of it (since before I could remember) and I did not see life getting any better. Later on, at this church function, God placed on this stranger’s heart to pray for me and she picked up that demonic spirit (through the Holy Spirit) and spoke it off of me. It was from that moment on that I realized that this trouble wasn’t going to last and that was all a scheme from the devil because he doesn’t support life.

I was tricked by the devil into believing that I hated myself and that everything that was happening was because of me. He tricked me into thinking that I can’t exist in an environment that was not all peaches and cream, roses and dandelions, chicken and Kool-Aid, etc. when we are meant to be conquerors and overcomers. I did and you can too!

 Anyways, after that, I was still getting abused in several ways on a regular basis but my reaction went from me wanting to kill and/or hurting myself (like I wasn’t hurt enough), and yes hurting others physically, verbally, and emotionally to one of perseverance. I suffered so that I could live and you can to.

If it matters to you, make the devil a liar and change your life despite what is happening around you (the environment) and change the ways that you are harming yourself. It was a struggle, for me, for many years to recover and look at how far I’ve come. You can go above and beyond that.

 I’ve heard many things about you and feelings toward you. I am not buying any of it. I want to know you as the young lady that hopefully you desire to be, and not who you were. I want you to know that you may be called, assumed, and told that you are many things but you do not have to believe any of it. You do not have to be defined by what others think. You are not even obligated to please earthly people.

I understand that you may be troubled because I have been also and probably can walk in your shoes longer than anyone else you know. I want to know YOU and vice-versa. I want you to realize your potential to succeed and exceed despite the circumstances that present themselves (and whether your environment is supportive or not.)

I know that we have both experienced things that we have control of and those things that we don’t. Sorry for the damage and harm that you have been victim of mentally, physically, verbally, emotionally, and spiritually. Try your best to fix what you can (even better with God on your side but I will not be pushy at all about letting God in because I don’t know where your faith stands) and hopefully your family will accept you for what you try to do and not for what you did (and don’t take it personally if they don’t). I know how it feels to constantly be told and ridiculed for what people think you are and not what you have become.

Getting better does not have to mean that something is wrong with you either. You can continue to get better even when all of your present issues do not exist. In better terms, me advising you to seek self-help (whether it is prayer, books, meditation, exercising, etc.) is not an insult at all. It’s perfectly find to acknowledge our weaknesses and work at them while we embrace your strengths.

I want to encourage you to get to know yourself.  I want you to know that when you start to become your better you that others may not accept it or acknowledge it. I’ve done some things that I am not proud of and when I stopped doing them and found better ways to react in those situations, others always expected me to slip up again or thought that my being better was a front. This led me to be frustrated and hurt but later I learned that what others thought or didn’t wasn’t going to affect me as long as I knew who I was and I noticed a difference.

Not everyone is going to understand your struggles and obstacles but you can overcome them. It may be hard for many of us to know who we are so allow God to tell you first and I pray that you believe it.  

You are (a):

-Child of God

-Wise and restored

-a brand new creation

-chosen, holy and blameless

-a masterpiece (my favorite because that means you are valuable)

-loved (the best thing)

-made complete <<<<<<yes you are

I also want you to know that this life that you have on Earth was and still is for a reason. Let what the enemy meant for harm turn into good. It is God’s will. You are not a mistake! You are here on this Earth for a purpose unlike any others. Once you realize what is best for your life it will never be the same.

Last but not least, I felt the need to write this because you should know now [age removed]. You do not have to ever feel alone, be misunderstood, be undermined, be misled, or mistaking another day of your life if you embrace this warm welcome and be open to allowing me to a be a genuine big sister/or mentor to you like you have never had (tough love at its finest) until you outgrow me .

I want you to outgrow me too. I want you to be so uplifted and filled that it’s almost miraculous and until I have nothing else to pour into you from my own experiences, advice, book suggestions, music suggestions, and anything that I can discuss with you that can ease the pain that led you down the path you can reverse from (also, not only was I adopted just like you but I had 4 other siblings who were to. If I may can relate to any experience that you have had, I can take it away from theirs).

I want you to know that it is never too late to make a transition in life for the better. I’m happy because if you are reading this sentence it means you made it to the end.

In summary, if you don’t remember anything else know this: You are valuable beyond measure, there is so much in store for your life, don’t be a product of your environment, and YOU are better than anything that you have done and anything that could ever happen to you so do not let it define you.

[removed for privacy]

Welcome home!

Love, Kim

Edit: Thanks for reading! I am aware of the grammar and spelling errors and I will be editing this post for clarity, at a later time. Known errors corrected on 9/28/18.

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