Comparison: The Thief of Joy

So, I know some people that like to compare family members to each other. For example, they may tell you that Taylor is an astronaut and question if you are really doing anything with your life because you chose to be a farmer. The thing is, you love being a farmer. In your heart of hearts, that is what you were called to do. You do not care that is not making you rich. You do not care that you are not popular. Your ambition in life was never to impress anyone. Also, farming is something that you do with ease. You do not look forward to retiring because this does not seem like work to you.

However, doubt starts to creep its way in. You start to wonder if you are ambitious enough. You start to wonder if you are missing out on things because you are comfortable. You start to wonder if you are taking enough risk. You start to wonder will people be more accepting of you if you became a medical doctor, knowing dag on well you cannot stand the sight of mucus, yet alone blood. You start to wonder if you should be doing what your loved ones think, because they know what is best allegedly. You start to question your overall lifestyle.

Well, it looks like someone stepped into the comparison trap. It takes your joy and leaves you in pure agony until you escape from it. Even still, you have to get care for the bruises it caused to your contentment, the cuts to your self-esteem, and the strain on your relationships that came from coveting, jealousy, and envy. It is one thing to envision a better life for yourself and another to be living your best life until a glimpse of someone else’s ruins it.

I have had to escape the comparison trap myself and be cautious not to get caught in it again, especially when observing peers. I became content with being unmarried and not having children, to the point where I do not care to be “found” anymore. I became okay that I do not have the means to travel around the world yet. I do not have to be a home owner. I will be a business owner when the time is right. With reassurance from a Great God, I trust that I am here, at this place, at the exact time that I am supposed to be for the right reasons.

Furthermore, some people will call this not being their time yet. Who are we to say that our time is not this time? So what if our time does not look like someone else’s? Who is to say that they are happy in the time that they are in, when we perceive it to be better than our own? Would I want to be experiencing the joy and pain, sunny days or rain that that time will bring?  


Another culprit, especially in this day and age, that sets the comparison trap is social media. This gives people control to portray their lives anyway that they want to. Some people are faking it until they make it. Some people are going into debt to maintain lifestyles to impress others. Some people wish they did not marry such and such but they are trying to make the best of it. Unimaginable things happen behind some closed doors. Some people have drama, manipulation, and hidden agendas behind their perfect friendships.

I like the people online that show the good, bad, and ugly. Of course they need to make sure not to over disclose but I’m writing about the people that do not mind saying today was a bad day. On another note, some people are online pretending to be struggling and “hood” when they are not because they want to relate to people that are “about that life”.

We have to really watch what we believe. Isn’t this more ammo to stop being envious or jealous and to focus on why we exist on this planet? We have to be true to ourselves, even if is not popular among society. Let’s try to be just as motivated and grateful to work towards personal goals even when opposition and criticism interrupts.   

Can we just be free to be ourselves, free to be an anomaly, free from the opinions of others that are not edifying and truthful, free from guilt, free from defeat, and free from hate? Most of all, we ought to be free from seeking validation buy comparing ourselves to others.  You are unique and your life should be one of a kind also, not like others!


Lastly, to my fellow Christians, as we strive to get it right but fall short daily:

 Aren’t you fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)? Aren’t you set apart from the world (Psalm 4:3)? Aren’t you more concerned with winning the approval of God (Galatians 1:10)? Aren’t you trying to be more like Christ (Philippians 2:5-11)? Aren’t you fully giving God your all, heart, mind, and soul (Matthew 22:37)? Aren’t you fully trusting the Lord and being obedient to do what He wills for your life (Isaiah 26:4; Jeremiah 29:11)? Aren’t you thinking on honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praise worthy things (Philippians 4:8)?

I believe that keeping these Biblical concepts, among others, in our hearts and minds are a start to ending the self-destructive act of comparison. We have to be steadfast in what we believe, especially as believers, even when we are ridiculed and judged. We are doing what is required of us, not what is going to be accepted by worldly perspectives.  We all have our own journey in life. Is it safe to say that all roads stick with Christ, for those who follow Him?

The only thing that needs to validate us is the Good God Almighty Himself. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the One, unlike us humans, who is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow. He makes us perfect, as is!


One thought on “Comparison: The Thief of Joy

  1. “Can we just be free to be ourselves, free to be an anomaly, free from the opinions of others that are not edifying and truthful, free from guilt, free from defeat, and free from hate?“ This really hit home for me. It has been a huge struggle trying to be understood by others because being myself seems like it has disappointed them. This past week I made a commitment that fear wont override faith. I need to be free to be an anomaly. You should make that in to a shirt. Id buy it. This was really refreshing and I identified with all of it.


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