Nevermind the title, I just didn’t know what else to call this post.
I have been seeing these bonnet arguments on social media and hearing about them via news sources like the radio and I am JUST watching the video that further instigated it all. If you don’t know, check out how Mo’ Nique weighs in on women wearing bonnets in public.
I have broken up my thoughts on this bonnet argument based on before (pre) and after (post) hearing Mo’Niques perspective.
Pre:
- Remember when people used to say that they don’t care what other people think? Why does that concept go out of the window when it comes to what they think about others?
2. Black people want liberation and no stereotyping from not black people but don’t give it to each other.
3. Many strangers or people are too self conscious out in public to be worrying about your appearance.
4. If wearing a bonnet does get you that much attention, maximize it by putting your business information or something on it.
5. You should be able to have this bit of comfort and downtime around your man too. It’s more to you than what you look like. (context: I heard a man on the radio speak against bonnets by saying that his wife always looks her best for him. He said that she gets up earlier than him so that he don’t have to see her looking unkept and that she goes to bed later than him so that he doesn’t see her winding down for the night. I guess that consist of her wrapping up her hair and taking off makeup or whatever. What a burden that must be?)
6. What happened to us saying, if they can’t have me at my “worst”, than they don’t deserve me at my best?
7. There are women out here sleeping with other women’s husbands in private but talking about how a sister with her bonnet on in public must not think much of herself which goes to my next thought.
8. People seem to care more about what things look like than what they actually are.
9. How is women wearing bonnets or scarves in public being lazy when women wear wigs and baseball caps with hair glued to the rim of it outside of their home?
10. Let’s stop expecting other’s to conform to what we do or won’t do. We are allowed to individuals within a whole.
11. There are so many other things to be worried about.
12. Sis can feel/look good in her bonnet just as much as you can feel/look good without one.
13. Andy Mineo said it best:
Post:
- She is entitled to her opinion just as much as you are to hers, no need for all the hate towards her and others that you may not agree with.
2. Why not be comfy in the airport and on the plane? The experience is stressful enough as it is, the last thing that a women that has to keep up with tickets, passports, luggage, layovers, and changing flights as what others think they look like.
3. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” according to Proverbs 31:30 ESV.
4. What if someone don’t have pride and don’t want it?
5. How you treat other’s shouldn’t depend on what they look like.
6. I really do believe that she didn’t mean any harm overall. However, sometimes when things matter a lot to someone, they have to realize that it doesn’t have to matter to everyone else too.
7. What if sis with her bonnet is representing herself as comfortable, unbothered, minding her business, and not caring because she has her own vibe?
8. People aren’t asking to be on a pedestal, on display, or whatever when they are our running errands and the like. It is not a big deal!
9. People that want to treat you wrong are going to do it whether you look like you care or not so. How people treat others says more about them than it it says about the target of their nonsense.
10. Only tap me on my shoulder to tell me about myself if it’s toilet paper on my shoe or something urgent like my wallet falling on the ground or phone left behind, not because you don’t approve of my appearance.
Final thoughts:
Why care so much about what Mo’Nique or anyone else has to say? You living up to your own personal beliefs, morals, values, expectations, etc. is what matters the most! Others do not have to agree with it, especially if it is not hurting them. If they are hurting you, I hope you get better.
…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
part of 1 Samuel 16:7 esv
Kim Williams 